HOW CAN YOU FORGIVE?
Are you finding it hard to forgive someone who has
done something terribly wrong to you?
Have you ever been in a situation where you find
it hard to look a person in the eye and say “I forgive you”?
A HURTING SON AND A FATHER WHO LONGS FORGIVENESS
A young man who has been left behind by his father
when he was still at the age of 5 approached a counselor for advice.
He said his father left him and his mother when he
was still a young boy so he could reunite with his first family.
At
such a young age, he found out that he wasn’t a
legitimate son and he had to bear the
pain of seeing his father leave them.
He has seen how his mother struggled to make ends
meet for the both of them because they never heard from his father ever since
he left them.
He also had to find work during his young teenage
years so he could help his mother with all the bills that they had to pay
regularly.
Now, he has already grown more mature and more
able to do work that he could already provide everything for himself and his mother.
He grew up without any form of communication with
his father. As time went by, his anger
towards him grew.
He still has many questions in his mind as to why
his father never bothered to contact them or visit them at all.
He
now learned that his father is sick of a terminal illness.
His father’s family contacted him and his mother and informed them of his
father’s condition.
This young man is now confused with what he has to
do. His mind tells him that the right
thing to do is go to his father and check on his condition.
His
heart is telling him the opposite though. It is telling him that he’s not yet ready to
face his father and give him his forgiveness.
IT’S HARD TO FORGIVE WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN HURT SO BADLY
You see, if you have been so badly hurt by a
person, it is so hard for you to approach that person and even look at him or
her.
Forgiveness even becomes harder when the person
who has hurt you has meant so much to you.
It’s
hard to forgive if the person who hurt you was someone you have loved so much
and have given your heart to.
It’s hard to forgive if your whole life has
revolved around that person and then suddenly he or she hurts you so deeply.
The pain and the wound cuts so deep that it hurts
to even just think about that person.
This is what this young man feels. He couldn’t forgive his father because he
has cared for him once in his life.
FORGIVE YOURSELF, FORGIVE OTHERS
But you know, the process of forgiveness doesn’t come in an instant. It has to be done on a
step-by-step manner.
You have to acknowledge in yourself first that
yes, you have been hurt; and you are still hurting.
Then, you have to find it within yourself to try
and face that pain. By facing that pain, you also face the person who gave it
to you.
Before you even forgive that person, you have to
forgive yourself first for the whole time that you felt miserable.
Forgive
yourself for hurting so much, and forgive the one who has hurt you so much.
FORGIVE AND BREAK FREE FROM THE PAIN
Forgiveness is hard but you have to learn how to
give it so you can free yourself of the
pain that has been haunting you.
In this process, you also release the other person
of the burden that he or she feels by knowing that he or she has been forgiven.
As long as you still haven’t given your
forgiveness, the hurt and the wounds will never heal within you.
You are suffering inside because of that pain that
cannot be released.
Do
not let the anger and hatred in your heart consume your life.
Let go of all these emotions and let love conquer your heart.
FORGIVE AND HAVE PEACE OF MIND
You’ll be surprised at how liberating it feels
once you learn to forgive someone who has hurt you.
Forgiveness
brings a certain feeling of ease and inner peace.
No matter how small or great a person has hurt
you, forgiveness can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
Forgive
others not because they deserve to be forgiven but because you deserve to have
the peace of mind that you deserve.
I myself have also been hurt so many times along
the way. I found it hard to forgive the people who have wounded my heart.
I was in so much pain and agony and I told myself
that I could never learn to forgive because I was betrayed and stepped on.
Time and my growing relationship with God helped
me heal all the wounds and pain in my heart.
I finally learned to forgive all the people who
have hurt me and now we are all living our lives without the heavy burden of
hatred and misery.
If you want to achieve inner peace and happiness in
your life, you have to learn how to let
your guard down and forgive.
A SPIRITUAL REFLECTION
In the Bible, Jesus told the people that whoever
has been forgiven little also loves little.
You
can only give so much love if you have also been forgiven much.
Now if you learn to forgive and you have also been
forgiven for the things you have done, the outpouring of love will continue
flowing within you.
Love
much, forgive much and live a happy and peaceful life.
I’m going to leave you with a Bible chapter for
you to reflect on.
JESUS ANNOINTED BY A SINFUL WOMAN
36 When one of the Pharisees invited
Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at
the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned
that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an
alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his
feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them
with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39 When the Pharisee who had invited
him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know
who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I
have something to tell you.”
“Tell me,
teacher,” he said.
41 “Two people owed money to a
certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the
other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back,
so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one
who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
“You have
judged correctly,” Jesus said.
44 Then he turned toward the woman
and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not
give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped
them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this
woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You
did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.
47 Therefore,
I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But
whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your
sins are forgiven.”
49 The other guests began to say
among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your
faith has saved you; go in peace.”1
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