MY PERSONAL STRUGGLES
For the past few weeks and days, I have been
into so much emotional struggle that I have somehow forgotten my real focus in
life.
I have been struggling with my inner self and
the outside forces that I have been dealing with.
There comes a time in a person’s life when
you just feel so lost and confused with what you are going to do with your
life.
So many thoughts come into mind but confusion
only brings you further down the path of loneliness and feeling of being lost
in life.
I have been in that kind of struggle for so
many days now. I lost direction and I didn’t know where I should really be
going. I have lost all trust and confidence in myself and my abilities.
Now, after what seemed to be endless days of
sadness, confusion, and tears; I have come to the realization that all I really
need in my life are the things that I already have within my reach.
I have been so consumed wanting to have so
much more than what I already have that I have neglected the things that really
mattered to me.
These feelings are never new to anybody because
at one point in our lives, we do get lost and confused that we feel like our
lives are worthless and we feel this worthlessness in our whole being.
THE QUEST OF FINDING ONESELF
We live in a world where everything seems to
be fast-paced and when we get left behind, that’s when the emptiness starts to
consume us.
I must admit, I have been feeling the
incomplete feeling of being a plain stay-at-home mother. I see most of my
friends and colleagues in a far different state from mine and I feel smaller by
the minute.
I see how successful others are in their own
fields that I sometimes ask myself the words “what if?”
What if I wasn’t a stay-at-home mother? What
if I continued on with my career as a nurse? What if I tried putting up my own
business?
I have had so many questions in my mind for
the past few months. I feel like I am meant for something more than just
staying at home.
I argued with my own self and even with the
people around me just so I could start my quest of finding myself again.
I felt like I needed to break free from a
chain I have put upon myself. I wanted to feel like I was important once again.
I needed to feel that my thoughts and ideas do matter.
THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTIONS
Until, I finally found the answer after
praying intently and deeply one day while I was inside the church. I finally
decided to lift everything up to Him. I felt like my relationship with my
family has been deeply affected by my inner struggles.
In my quest for finding myself again, I have
become so distant to my family that I began to hurt them bit by bit.
Now I realized I didn’t really need to find
myself elsewhere because I have everything I needed beside me all along.
I have a loving and understanding family that
sticks with me no matter how distant I may seem sometimes. The most special one
of them is my 5-year-old son who has innocently loved me no matter what.
I remember him seeing me cry one time and he
just came to me and gave me a very warm embrace full of love and understanding.
He understood that all I ever needed at that time was his loving embrace.
I just needed to cry myself out that time and
there was no other person beside me but my loving son. He comforted me and made
me remember how blessed I really am.
Yes, I may no longer be as known and
respected as before but my son has made me realize that he was all I needed to
feel my importance in this life.
And so, when I had the chance to pray it all
out to God, I took the chance to ask for His guidance and provision of clarity
into my thoughts.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
You may have also been in a similar situation
as me or maybe you are currently going through it right now but let me assure
you by telling you that you are never alone in this world.
You are never alone in your struggles because
someone is also going through what you are into right now like what I have also
been into.
You are furthermore definitely never alone because
He has always been there for you, watching you and waiting for you to call on
Him.
My greatest mistake was not asking Him for
guidance early on. I was so consumed thinking about what I wanted for my life
that I forgot to ask Him to lead me to where He has planned me to be.
Now, my heart has been opened to the fact
that I should be thankful and happy with what I have now because where I am
right now is where He has chosen me to be.
GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU
Many times in our lives we tend to never be
contented with what we have that we begin to feel sorry for ourselves because of
wanting what we don’t have.
Whatever you have right now and where ever
you may be at this very moment is God’s plan for you. Don’t be too hard on
yourself by looking for what isn’t there but instead, appreciate what has been
given for you to work on.
When we are at our lowest moment in life, we
sometimes think that we are not blessed and life is so unfair for putting us in
such a lowly situation. What we fail to see is that God has a perfect plan for
us somewhere along the way.
When you feel like things are not working out
right and everything is so messy, remember that this is not yet the end of your
journey and brighter days will come soon, at their right moment.
YOU ARE UNBREAKABLE
Misery, sadness, and pain are all but part of
life that we can never avoid. These are the ingredients that will make us better
persons and make us strong enough to face all the struggles that life will
still offer in the long run.
Think of all your trials as means to prepare
you for the worst and the best. Yes, you may be in the worst situation you have
ever been into right now; but it will soon pass.
Trials, problems, and struggles will soon be
over and you as a person will still be whole after all the heartbreaking times.
Your heart may break at times but your spirit
will always be whole until the time your heart finally mends from all the
painful things you have been through.
So for all of you out there who are going
through tough times right now, always remember; they will soon be over.
I wish you a wonderful day and may the good
Lord Bless you with the things your heart asks for.
Images
courtesy of Pixabay
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