Are You Happy?

Have you ever experienced wanting something so bad that you are willing to sacrifice anything just to get it, but you just can’t seem to achieve it?

Have you ever experienced failing at something that you feel so sad and empty because you wanted so much to succeed at it?

Have you ever fallen in love but have been so hurt by that person you love that you feel so broken?

FAME and DEPRESSION

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Have you often wondered why a lot of successful people still feel incomplete despite everything they have in life?

Why does it seem like the rich and famous still find it hard to find true happiness?

If you look at it from a general point of view, even successful people are not saved from the bounds of depression.

Why do you think many Hollywood stars succumb to drug or substance addiction? It’s because they are battling inner demons that are eating them from deep inside.

Why do many people, including the rich and famous commit suicide? It’s because they have this certain emptiness inside that no amount of money or fame could ever suffice for.

You’ll be surprised at the list of people with major depressive disorder that I have read from Wikipedia. A lot of famous celebrities and personalities, whom you never would have thought could be depressed, have made it to the list.

Even Oprah Winfrey has experienced a major depression one time in her life.

Many of us long for something in our lives and sometimes we get down and desperate when we don’t get them. Some long for money, some for fame, some for power, and some for true love.

Whatever it is that’s missing in our lives, we don’t stop acting until we get it.

That is where depression sets in. When you try so hard to reach for that missing part of your life but you just can’t get it, the feelings of being incomplete and empty begin to conquer your whole being.

A PERSONAL CONFESSION

 

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I may not really know how a person with depression really feels inside and I may not also know if I am indeed suffering from a depressive disorder, but there are just those moments when I feel so empty inside.

I feel as if there’s something missing in my life but I just could not figure out what that missing piece really is.

Sometimes when I’m alone with myself, I just couldn’t help but feel the emptiness in my heart. I feel a certain pain and loneliness inside me that I just could not explain.

This could be depression, but again, this could be just another one of my changes in mood. Whatever it is, I certainly am not the happiest person on earth.

Is It HARD to ACHIEVE HAPPINESS?

 

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If you come to think of it, is there ever someone who has lived truly and genuinely happy? I guess, as humans, we all battle our inner struggles in life.

I have never known anyone who has ever said that he/she has no problem in life.

Everyone has his/her own battle to win. We were just given different scenarios and different intensities of trials and struggles, but we all eventually experience these kinds of things.

I must admit, my life is not perfect and I am not a perfect person as well. No one is ever perfect, but the least we can do is to lift each other up in times when one is down in the darkness of life.

DEPRESSION and SUICIDE

 

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I have seen a lot of people commit suicide because they felt their life had no more meaning, and them being here on earth does not make sense at all.

Robin Williams’ suicidal death came as a shock to me when I heard it on the news. He seemed to be so full of happiness and positivity, what I and many others failed to see is that he was also just a human being who also felt lonely and empty at times.

Robin Williams’ movies have always inspired me and made me laugh my brains out. I specially loved “Patch Adams,” which has touched my heart in a very unique way.

It’s really sad that a very inspiring person such as Robin Williams had to die that way. He was alone with his inner struggles until he could no longer bear them.

I had a relative who also committed suicide because of all the different factors of life that seemed to have weakened his weary spirit. He belonged to a famous and wealthy family but sadly, he was exposed to drugs early on in his life. He had been using and abusing drugs during the majority of his lifetime.

When his mother died, he no longer found meaning out of his life so he hanged himself to death, just two months after his mother died. He had a really sad ending because he too was alone and lonely. Nobody was there to comfort him during his moment of grief because he was an addict.

So he continued to seek the comfort of drugs and alcohol. These were the only things that gave him company during the last days of his life. He died with no one beside him but the substances he abused.

News of his death shocked and saddened me and my family, especially when we learned how he died. Had we known that he badly needed help, we could have at least welcomed him into our home.

The VALUE of COMPANY

 

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Stories of people taking their lives because of depression or many other factors makes me want to question why these kinds of things have to happen. Why do people have to take their lives when life has so many things to offer?

Every time I ponder upon things like these, the answer that comes to me is always the same; people get lonely and empty, and the only thing they need sometimes is someone to let them know that they’re not at all alone in this world.

Sometimes a little bit of time is what other people need to make them feel that they matter.

Just a simple gesture of care and presence from someone makes a lonely person realize that there is someone who is willing to spend time with them and listen to what they have to say.

Forget the material things, because they will never matter at all to someone who finds no meaning for his/her life. No matter how many piles of gold or how many bags of money you offer to someone who is depressed, they will all just turn into useless things.

An EMPTY HEART Makes An EMPTY LIFE

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Money, fame and fortune are worthless if your heart is empty. Life will always be meaningless if these are the only things that keep you company.

There will come a time when all you will ever need is a helping hand, an open ear, and a shoulder to lean on.

Time will come when your happiness will no longer rely on the material things, but on the things that will make you whole inside.

So if you feel like your life is incomplete right now because you’re not rich or you don’t have money, take a look around you and open your eyes to the things that you have in your life. What do you have in your hands right now?

The THINGS That MATTER

 

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If you have a loving family that sticks with you through thick and thin, then you are one of the luckiest persons on earth. Many rich people would give anything to experience a love as genuine as what a loving family can give.

If you have a loyal friend who lends his/her time to spend with you during times when you feel like speaking your heart out, you’re blessed because most of the rich and famous can’t even determine who their real friends are, out of all the people who surround them and claim to be their friends.

We have a lot of things to be thankful for in our lives. We just have to learn how and where to look, because they’re just there, waiting for you to notice them and give them a bit of your time.

If you feel down and lonely right now, try opening your heart together with your eyes. They will show you just where you should exactly look and where you should exactly be.

I wish you the fullness of heart and completeness that you have been looking for.

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THE STORY OF A PREMATURE BIRTH

THE EXCITEMENT OF PREGNANCY

They say having a child is one of the greatest gifts a couple could ever receive. The joy and the excitement starts from the moment a husband and a wife find out that they are having a child.

Suddenly, a mother-to-be can feel how wonderful it is to know that a life is growing inside her womb.

A father-to-be cannot hide the excitement of welcoming his offspring into this world.

Certainly, a child is God’s most precious gift to a man and a woman united by Him.

When my husband and I learned that we were expecting a baby, emotions of different sorts engulfed us.

There was the unexplained feeling of joy that in a number of months, we would be greeting our precious baby out into this world.

There’s also the excitement on the wonderful things that having a child has to bring.

There’s the fear of not knowing how to handle having a baby for the first time. Will the baby be healthy, will I deliver safely?

There are many more emotions that came and passed as I was on my pregnancy stage. But the best emotion of them all was the bond that pregnancy has brought me and my baby.

I thought of my baby in everything I did. Whenever I would eat something, I would always check first if it is safe for my baby. Whatever I did, I did with care, thinking of the welfare of the life inside my womb.

My husband’s excitement was even greater than mine. On my first trimester, he already bought things that my baby would need when he would be born. Whenever he would see something that he thought would be useful for our baby, he would buy it right there and then.

When we finally learned what the sex of the baby was, he immediately bought a beautiful blue coloured crib for our baby boy. Then, he bought more clothes for our precious little one.

Our parents couldn’t hide their excitement either. They couldn’t wait for the time when our baby would finally be born.

THE BEGINNING OF COMPLICATIONS

Then, things started to become complicated. I have noticed that there was something wrong at the beginning of my second trimester. During my scheduled check-up with my doctor, she told me that I was already developing Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (PIH).

It is a hypertensive condition which mostly comes out during pregnancy especially for first time moms. I was a strong candidate because it was my first pregnancy and my work has also been a stressful one.

My doctor did everything she could to take care of me and my baby. My consultations were scheduled more often to make sure that my baby and I were always in good condition.

On the fifth month of my pregnancy, I noticed my eyes beginning to blur until I could no longer see well. My vision was dark and cloudy. I couldn’t even read right that I couldn’t function well at work anymore.

My body started bloating until I felt heavy all over. I could also feel my baby having a hard time inside my womb.

I kept on talking to him, assuring him that he would be alright and asking him to hold on and just keep on growing healthily inside.

He would respond by kicking me from inside, as if assuring me back that he is indeed alright and that he is a strong boy willing to fight for his life no matter what.

My doctor then prescribed me medications that would help my baby’s lungs mature faster just in case I would have to give birth earlier than expected.

AN UNEXPECTED NEWS

The first month of my third trimester came; I met my husband after work to have lunch before we would go to my scheduled consultation with my doctor.

I thought it was just a normal day; after having lunch, we headed down to my doctor’s clinic and waited for our turn to be called inside.

While waiting, my best friend called me on my cellular phone and told me she wanted to see me and check on how I was doing. I told her to come to my doctor’s clinic as I was still waiting for my turn.

When my doctor finally checked on me, she said I had to undergo an emergency caesarean section immediately. My baby was already having a hard time inside because there’s not enough fluid from inside my womb that could support and protect him.

The doctor said my baby’s life was already at stake. I was shaken and couldn’t talk well anymore because I was overwhelmed with fear and worry.

I had a lot of questions about my baby’s chance of survival. I didn’t care about my condition because all I really wanted at that time was for my baby to live.

I was already shaking and crying as I my doctor assured me that she would do everything she could to save me and my baby.

AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT

On the way to the hospital for admission, my husband and my best friend who were my sources of strength at that time comforted me.

It was as though God has also planned my best friend to be there with us at that very instant to assist us during our most crucial moment.

While my husband had to take care of my admission to the hospital, she was the one who stayed with me assuring me that we would make it through this stage of life well enough.

I underwent another ultrasound before I was brought to my room. Before I was brought inside the Operating Room, my father came and also gave me the assurance I needed to fight for my baby.

We were all filled with emotions at that time. Tears were rolling down my eyes as I was being brought to the Operating Room.

I kept praying for the Lord to spare my baby. I asked Him to give us the chance to become the parents of this wonderful being who was also fighting for his life from inside.

MY BABY’S FIRST CRY

In the OR, I was being monitored closely as my blood pressure kept on shooting up. The doctors and nurses kept on assuring me that my baby would be fine but I still couldn’t stop worrying.

Then, finally, I heard the voice I’ve been longing so much to hear. I heard a loud, strong cry. It was my baby’s loud voice. He was strong and alive.

I couldn’t explain the joy I felt as the doctors put him on my chest. I was crying with so much joy and relief as I looked at him and kissed him.

He was so tiny, yet he looked so strong. He kept his promise of fighting for his life.

I thanked God for listening to my prayers and for letting my baby live. My husband and our parents were also praying hard while I was inside the operating room.

THE CRITICAL STAGE

By the time I was brought in the Recovery Room, my baby’s Neonatologist visited me and told me about my baby’s condition.

She told me he’s already in recovery inside the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), and that he’s still under close observation for 48-hours. If my baby survives the crucial stage of 48-hours, it means he’s on his way to continuous recovery.

I again prayed for the Lord to keep my baby healthy and help him get through this critical stage of his early life.

The Lord again listened to my prayers and the people around me. He was able to get past through the first 48-hours of his life.

Our baby spent more than a month in the hospital. The doctors did everything they could to make sure he had no complications.

He was inside the incubator for most of the time he was in the hospital, with tubes and IV lines all over his body. It was a painful sight but the fighter in him gave us the hope we needed.

Despite our baby’s condition, he was the one who has always been assuring and giving us hope by showing his unwavering fighting spirit.

YULETIDE AWAY FROM HOME

Since he was born only a few days before Christmas, my husband and I spent Christmas day in the hospital with our baby.

New Year came and he was still in the hospital so we also spent our new year inside the NICU with our baby.

I still couldn’t see well during those times so I asked my husband to take photos of our growing baby every day so I would know how he looked like during the times I couldn’t see him well.

The doctors told me that instead of my whole body experiencing the effect of my severely high blood pressure, my eyes were the ones which took the toll of my condition called Severe Pre-eclampsia.

They referred to my present condition as Hypertensive Retinopathy.

A FAMILY EFFORT

Another problem we had to go through was my inability to produce enough milk. The Neonatologist advised us that it is best for my baby to purely breastfeed during the first months of his life but I couldn’t produce enough milk for my baby.

I was able to produce my first milk, which was very important for my baby since the first milk has the most amounts of nutrients my baby needed during his initial stage.

Since I couldn’t produce enough milk, finding enough sources for my baby’s consumption became a family task.

My father was the one who worked hard in finding people who could donate breast milk for my baby. Every day, he would bring clean milk containers with him and go to all the relatives and friends he knew of who had also just given birth at that time.

Sometimes he would even bring some of those kind-hearted people to the hospital so they could pump their milk as stock for my baby.

My husband would also go to other hospitals, which have enough stocks of breast milk and avail of their milk.

MONEY CAN’T BUY EVERYTHING

That’s when I realized that the most important things in life are not the ones that can be bought with money.

Even what seems to be just a simple thing such as milk could be the most important thing for someone. This simple thing is not something which can be bought but can only be availed through grace and compassion.

The love and empathy we have received during the most struggling moments of our lives were the ones that helped us make it through.

A PROMISING SOUL

Our baby is now a smart and healthy 5-year-old boy with a lot of things to say. Sometimes we even run out of words to tell him because he has so many questions in life that we ourselves don’t know the answers to.

He is our only source of joy and laughter. I have quit my job from the time he was born and decided to become a full time mother to him.

I didn’t want to miss any milestone of our boy’s life. I realized there’s nothing more important than family and the love we have for each other.

I have also regained my vision after 3 months of therapy.

Now, our son is in Kindergarten, learning his way through life one-step-at-a-time. I am a dedicated mother with nothing more to ask for but good health for my whole family. My husband has a small business where we live by contentedly day-by-day.

LIVING WITH FAITH & LOVE

I can now say that we have gone through and were able to survive one of the most trivial stages of our lives, with the help of the people we love and the love that God has always been giving us.

Whatever life brings us in the future, our family’s genuine love for each other and our strong faith in God will pull us through.

Sources: Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia
                Images Courtesy of Pixabay

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